Yes, I feel like one.

A dork
A naïve person
A fool

Someone said to me yesterday: Zoals de waard is vertrouwt ie zijn gasten, meaning something like: As you are yourself you’ll trust other people.

Someone also said to me yesterday: We thought that you knew about this a long time …

I DID NOT !!!

Geyl to me was a real person, a friend. I had fun with her, told her everything etc etc.
Her illness and her death really affected me. I mourned, cried, lied awake in the middle of the night, yes I have even praid! And I don’t even believe that there’s a God!

The fact that this all isnt true have made me perplexed…
How can someone play with the feelings of people? Have you no heart?

Roleplay is fine, I don’t give a fuck about that. From me you can play whomever you want. Male / Female / Furry / Pig, I really don’t care ( I just hate SL kids but that aside)

If you want to get out of SL, then just go!, click on the button called “cancel account”. Or give a big party with all your friends. Hell, for all I care explode yourself in front of all your friends and go out with a Big Bang. I can live with all these ways, I would even laugh about it, but do not, never ever fake a serious illness and create your own death!

Even worse I think are those people who knew about it or suspected it and just standed there doing or saying nothing. It is almost morbid. Watching how other people have pain and how they mourn, even cry along with them and put down flowers at the memorial… I get sick even thinking about that.

There is currently a raging inner struggle in me. A struggle between intellect and emotion. My mind says Shonique all the facts point to fraud.
My heart still hopes that there will be a message saying that the girl that I knew actually exist.

I’m better today, I am calm….
I’m amazed, surprised of the world of sl …

Remember the thing i wrote and the beginning of this blog?
Someone said to me yesterday: Zoals de waard is vertrouwt ie zijn gasten, meaning something like: As you are yourself you’ll trust other people…. Well this person has learned her lesson. Trust only yourself …. Thanks Geyl for destroying my faith in people in SL …

Shonique

To Geyl

We talked, but I never heard your voice
We cried, but I never saw your tears
We huged, but I never felt your skin
We drinked, but I never filled your glass
I knew you, but I never looked into your eyes

Still so much to talk about
Still so much to cry about
Still so much hugs to share
Still so much bottles to empty

I’ll take a raincheck and I see you on the crossroads some day….
——————————–
07-01-2007 29-03-2008
Geyl Fapp

Secondlife: Endgame became reality for her
She died in the hospital at the age of 21.
Geyl left us her legacy: Secondlife The Endgame
Her memorial can be visited at: slurl.com/secondlife/olivegrove/105/230/23

People have ask me what do in Second Life except for having fun… well, here’s the answer:
I would like to introduce my website to you: Dutch Second Life

Dutch Second Life
http://dutchsecondlife.com
Dutch Second Life is a site containing two blogs: Dutch SecondLife Style (http://style.dutchsecondlife.com) and Dutch SecondLife Places (http://places.dutchsecondlife.com)

Dutch Second Life is THE Style and Places guide for the Dutch Second Life player.
About 400 readers visit the site every day to read about fashion and special places.
If you are a designer, shop or places owner and would like to have more exposure I can be of serveral services. Like review, interview, advertising etc.

I also have my own office in SL on Madhupak (http://slurl.com/secondlife/madhupak/115/2/51) and a group called Dutch Second Life (104 members). After every article i always put a post in the group with a LM. (demo) products can also be spread and promoted trough the group.

For more information please visit the site, the office or send me and email or IM.

Greetings
Shonique Shilton

On my rl birthday she told me,
Cautious but direct.

I acted like it didn’t get to me.

Regularly we talked about it and I did airy,
Asked her questions and let her talk,

and I acted like it didn’t get to me.

She went abroad to prepare her end, and to
to leave something for generations to come

and I acted like it didn’t get to me.

Today I saw her video,
honest, fair and totally her

I can no longer pretend that It doesn’t get to me…

The truth sucks and hurts ….

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You know, SL is sometimes really RL, only enlarged.

Love blooms faster, more intense and just as quickly ends. With a big bang or very quitely. Which makes the sadness about that lost love greater.
Traders on the stock exchange market tend to gamble more, companies promise more intrest, and go bankrup of dissapear with your money a lot faster.

Last summer there were two ‘wars’ in the SL design world.
1. There was a lawsuit against someone who had have copied and sold so called ‘Sexgen’ beds.
2. And then there’s the battle against the copying of textures and/or designs of some major fashiondesigners.

Issue 1 was handled neatly according to the law. The owner and designer of the beds hired an detective to find the person behind the avatar and sued him.

No. 2 is different. There is mud thrown, threats are made, and people get banned in certain malls. Various groups are handing out notecards and there’s a lot of gossip in groups IM’s.

What is it that makes people so extreme in second life? Is it the anonymity they experience? Does it give them the feeling they can say and do what they wouldn’t dare or simply just can’t in RL?

I don’t know, I just look at it and feel amazed…

Second Life makes extreme.

I decided to celebrate rezzday doing my favorite thing … SHOPPING!
ETD had a big sale and I scored a lot of new hairstyles (yes, i’m dutch.. we love getting bargains). I also bought several new outfits.

When I came home, I tried all the new stuff and was satisfied.
Now what?
What do I want to do more on my birthday?

After a moment I knew it .. A photo, I want a birthdaypicture. A picture to put next to one of the first SL photos to see how I have grown and changed in the last two years.(well grown… I am still a little brat compared to most players). I sent my friend / photographer / artist Zebra DaSilva (the author of ThatSLife and video on howslife) an IM.

Would you maybe, Do you want? Yes of course! Come on over!

YEAH!! My first real photo shoot in SL! After much fiddling and hassle (Zebra is a perfectionist), the pictures were ready.
The result? Jawdropping drooling good …

See here … The evolution of Shonique Shilton!

January 2008

The 16th of January was my second rezzdag ..
2 years, that’s my age now …
2 years i’m walking, running and flying around in Second Life.

2 years is a nice time to reflect …
I have seen a lot, experienced much more and done a lot…

2 years ago i logged in.
My name was quickly elected, so was my avatar.
Orientation Island said nothing, I can’t at least remember little about it.

Finding a Dutch speaking person was equivalent to finding a needle in a haystack. The number of visitors half of what it is today.
My favorite places were the Welcome Area, that tacky place in Amsterdam (god we had a blast) and The Garden. My friends were all American.

Bit by bit the dutch came into the game and little by little they made SL their own .

Now two years later, a lot has changed, for the good and bad.

I still have fun, but now I keep more distance.

Friendship is fine .. A deeper friendship also, but I no longer give myself completely. I have seen too many friendships go to hell.

When you age in your FL you don’t want to hear about it. When you age in Second Life you’re proud.

I think I’ll stay in Second Life just a bit longer….
Like to celebrate my 5th anniversary one day

Why another blog?

I blog in Dutch, have an hyves profile in Dutch en write reviews in Dutch. But now some of my friends are complaining. They can’t read Dutch because they aren’t Dutch. Still they want to know about my adventures in Second Life. They want to read my thoughts and like to comment.

So i’ve decided to translate some of my blogs in English. Since English isn’t my native language some words or sentences won’t be correct. But hey… you wanted me to do, so don’t complain!

For those of you who don’t know shit about me… read the ‘Who’s Shonique Shilton’. Still have questions? Ask!

greetings Shonique Shilton